funny joke

[g35cam]

i read this off another forum and it cracked me up...


There was this construction worker on the 3rd floor of this unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.
So first he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then pointed at his knees (meaning "need"), and moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.
Finally the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jack off. The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy: "You idiot, I was trying to say, I need a hand saw". The other guy replied: "I know, I was trying to tell you that "I am coming...".



now its your turn to tell a joke...

[w0ady]

haha good 1.

[perpolsmurf]

hahaha pretty good

[nissan sean]

old.......try again.

[g35cam]

old.......try again.

i dont give 2 ****s if its old or not, just dont waste your time posting.

[nissan sean]

just messin with ya. geez. got anymore jokes?

[g35cam]

yah lol



A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

[nissan sean]

old....try again...na jk.lol that one was pretty good. but i have heard it b4. not in a while though. :)

[g35cam]

damnit, i guess im new to the joke scene lol

[perpolsmurf]

so a guy walks into a bar and sits down next to this pirate who has a peg leg, and hook hand, and an eye patch. the guy engages the man in conversation and was curious as to how his pegged leg came about.
the pirate answers "this happened when i was thrown overboard and a shark bit my leg off."

the man replies, "that is incredible! so how did you lose your hand?"

the pirate answers. "i got it cut off in a duel with a rival pirate a long time ago."

again the man responds, "wow that is just astonishing! so how did you lose your eye"

the pirate responds, "a seagull crapped in my eye."

the man answers, "i'm confused. a seagull ****ting on your eye caused you to be blind?"

and the pirate hesitantly answers, "no. it was just my first day with the hook"

[w0ady]

ive heard most of these before but they still make me laugh. keep em coming!

[stogey420time]

TURNER BROWN

Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this
huge black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says:
"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner
Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to life, shaking him. The big guy
says: "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.... I'm 7 feet
tall, weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3
pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says: "Turner Brown?!...Jesus Christ, I thought you said,.............. "Turn around”

[G35 2007]

TURNER BROWN

Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this
huge black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says:
"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner
Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to life, shaking him. The big guy
says: "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says: "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.... I'm 7 feet
tall, weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3
pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says: "Turner Brown?!...Jesus Christ, I thought you said,.............. "Turn around”

LOL u win!!! :sign26:

[soosexyg35]

Lmfaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[express705]

what time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?















































time for a new fence.

[q-docta]

Those are some good ones. Here's a corny one!

A man and his wife were in a deep sleep in their bed one night. The wife suddenly jumps up and says "Hurry up and get out, my husband is coming!" The husband suddenly wakes up and jumps out his own window.

[express705]

what do you take before every meal?





















a seat. haha

[express705]

why do birds fly south?

















its too far to walk..

[g35cam]

ok ok ok, enough with the corny ones hahahaha jk

[express705]

sorry.....